Sleep problems

Sleep Strategies~ when your child has trouble sleeping~ Patience Domowski, LCSW

Falling asleep/bedtime routine

·         Turn off screens at least half hour before bed [Don’t let kids keep their ipads and phones in their rooms at night. Parents can charge them in their own bedroom or elsewhere in the house.]

·         Use a bedtime routine including reading books before bed. Sometimes a calming bath is helpful.

·         Sleepytime tea or warm milk can help

·         Listening to music while falling asleep can be helpful for some kids (check with your child if they think this would be helpful or too distracting)

·         Noise machine // fan// sound machine

·         Melatonin (natural vitamin that helps you fall/stay asleep) can buy over the counter at pharmacy

·         Progressive muscle relaxation (can find many scripts for this online)

·         Remind yourself everything will be okay

·         For racing thoughts: write down what need to do tomorrow// or what you’re thinking about to get it out of your head

·         Talk to doctor about medication if necessary

For nightmares:

·         Think happy thoughts / make a “happy things to think about before bed” Sweet Dreams box and have your child draw pictures of things he likes and pick out what he wants to dream about before bed

·         Use a Dream Catcher (can make one easily- look online for craft ideas)

·          Prayers

·         Assure them they will be okay

·         Watch a funny show or funny podcast before bed so thinking happy thoughts

Won’t sleep on their own

·         Parent stay with child until they fall asleep in their own room

·         Let child sleep on floor in parents room getting closer to door until can be in their own room

·         Let pets sleep with child or share bedroom with sibling

·         Give reward in morningif child stays in room all night or falls asleep on their own

Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety

Is your child having difficulty separating from mom and dad at school, daycare, or visiting the other parent in divorced situations? 

Tip: try a "transitional object" like a favorite blanket, stuffed animal, toy, or even a small keychain photo of mom and dad that goes with the child everywhere. 

For older kids... A small trinket with meaning or a photo they can keep in their pocket can be helpful.

Also remind kids you will always come back for them and when you do pick them up, remind them you came back just like you promised. Lots of hugs and kisses! 

Anxiety - about going new places and separation anxiety

Anxiety about going somewhere new

Some kids have alot of anxiety about going somewhere new (or somewhere they haven't been in a while) or visiting/meeting new people.
Some kids may not show their anxiety, but rather internalize it (may be worried but not express it) and other kids express it in different ways.
Some kids show this anxiety in the typical way: clinging to mom/dad, crying, refusing to go.
Other kids show this anxiety by throwing a fit or a tantrum. Sometime parents don't recognize the reason for the tantrum- the child doesn't or can't appropriately express his feelings so they throw a fit.

Tip: Review and prepare. Show the child the website of where you are going (all attractions like museums, zoos, etc have websites with pictures), or show your child pictures of who you are visiting (grandparents for example). Discuss what you will do, what you will see, etc. Explain to the child its okay and normal to be a little anxious about doing something new or going somewhere new. Tell the child what the OK reaction should be. Also remind them how they can cope (hug parents, hold their hand, bring their favorite toy). Finally make sure you emphasize the fun part! Remind kids it will be fine.
Some kids do great with "Social Stories" where a story is written with the child in the story and it explains what will happen, what the expected behavior is, and reminds the child they are doing a great job learning whatever the skill is you want them to learn. (Search online for some free available social stories, or you can make one up yourself! I'll do another blog post on how to write them soon)

Here's an example of something you can say to your anxious child Before you go, and maybe during the car ride too.  "I know sometimes you (or use "kids" in general if the child gets upset if you specifically focus on them) get a little worried or anxious when going somewhere new. Its okay, and normal. Even mommies and daddies get anxious sometimes. (You can say if its true that you feel a little nervous too).  Remember you can tell me "I feel worried" or "I'm scared" (use whatever feeling word you think your child is most familiar with and would understand) and come give me a hug, or you can hold my hand until you feel comfortable.We're going to do and see lots of fun things (give specific examples if you can).  I'm sure you will have lots of fun!

 (If you are leaving the child with a new babysitter for example, however, explain you will be back very soon and will give lots of hugs and kisses when you return, and you will miss them too.)